“… so i’ll check the weather wherever you are cause i wanna know if you can see the stars tonight.”

and I don’t know where you went when you left me but
says here in the water you must be gone by now
I can tell somehow
one hand on the trigger of a telephone
wonderin’ when the call comes
where you say it’s alright
you got your heart right

maybe I’ll sleep inside my coat and
wait on your porch ‘till you come back home
oh, right
I can’t find a flight

we share the sadness
split screen sadness

two wrongs make it all alright tonight
two wrongs make it all alright tonight
two wrongs make it all alright tonight
two wrongs make it all alright tonight

“all you need is love” is a lie ’cause
we had a love but we still said goodbye
now we’re tired, battered fighters

and it stings when it nobody’s fault cause there’s
nothing to blame at the drop of your name
it’s only the air you took and the breath you left

so maybe I’ll sleep inside my coat and
wait on your porch ’til you come back home
oh, right
I can’t find a flight
so I’ll check the weather wherever you are
cause I wanna know if you can see the stars tonight
it might be my only right

we share the sadness (two wrongs make it all alright tonight)
split screen sadness (two wrongs make it all alright tonight)
we share the sadness (two wrongs make it all alright tonight)
split screen sadness (two wrongs make it all alright tonight)

I called
because
I just
need to feel you on the line
don’t hang up this time
and I know it was me who called it over but
I still wish you’d fought me ‘til your dying day
don’t let me get away

cause I can’t wait to figure out what’s wrong with me
so I can say ‘this is the way that I used to be
there’s no substitute for time
or for the sadness (two wrongs make it all alright tonight)
split screen sadness (two wrongs make it all alright tonight)
we share the sadness (two wrongs make it all alright tonight)
split screen sadness (two wrongs make it all alright tonight)
oh and the sadness
it’s alright, it’s alright
oh and the sadness
it’s alright, it’s alright
oh and the sadness
it’s alright, it’s alright

John Mayer, you know me so well.

<3.

skin. identity. ink.

so i’ve finally decided on two tattoos that i will (hopefully) be getting this summer.

after some deliberation, i’ve decided firstly, Walt Whitman is staying.

I will be getting the words “and your very flesh will be a great poem” in wrap around text on my right ring finger. i chose the right hand, simply because i am right handed. i chose the ring finger because i feel that represents the commitment i have to both these words, and the words i write.

the second tattoo will be the law of identity. as we learned it, in it’s symbolic form in TOK: A ≡ A. with a twist. god bless IB. this is the one thing i can walk away with that has meant something. and they didn’t even come up with it. i’ve been playing with this idea for quite sometime, and initially, decided to just do the symbol for ‘is’, which coincidentally is the symbol for the band, WTL. then i decided that was too obscure. and around 5:00 this morning, when i should have been sleeping, or at least studying for my urban studies final, i came up with this:

so it would actually say “a is a” and i love that. as far as where i’m going to put it, i am thinking over my heart, as cliche as that sounds. although i am a student of philosophy, and the mind is a jewel, i’ve lately been greatly influenced by something Toussaint Morrison said in his show, “nonetheless”. the quote is “if this [the heart] is unsettled, than this [the mind] cannot rest.” and i do, very much believe that even though we make decesions with our minds, we think with our hearts. the other place i am thinking of putting it, is inside my left wrist, like the original idea with the symbol for ‘is’/WTL. that would be a lot less awkward to show, considering that half of my right breast wouldn’t have to be revealed. but only time will tell.

but yes. so it is written, so it shall be done.

<3.

“see you later, see you soon”: the beginning of the end.

Kerstin, Claire, Cassi, Molly, Katie and Johanna; aka my Lovelies;

this past 9 months has gone by amazingly fast. they’ve been filled with numerous quoteable times most on the 12th floor, a few at UDS and many others in random places.

and i’m so glad to have met every single one of you. and it absolutely breaks my heart that after forging this bond, and being there for one another in the best of our times and the worst of our times these past two semesters.

Cassi, I’m sorry I missed your departure. I miss you like it’s my job. and i love you. and i’m gonna be going crazy without you next semester. i hope you have a buttload of fun next semester in Australia. i expect pictures, missy!!

now for the real purpose of this note:

first farewells are always tough. especially considering that i’ve spent practically every waking moment not in class or rehearsal with Kerstin, Claire, Cassi and Molly. so today, at a little after 7 when Kerstin texted me with an “i’m leaving” i prepared myself for the worst. i already knew i was going to cry, and sure enough, i started tearing up right as we got to the front desk for Kerstin to turn in her key. we all walked her out the the parking lot, where promptly, the tears began to flow freely. this was possibly the best and worst goodbye ever.even though we were all ready to close the year and head home, we weren’t necessarily prepared to leave everyone behind. especially in this case, since this is a more permanent goodbye. Kerstin’s off to ‘Kato! but she’s promised us a bunch of visits, and i’m holding her to that. when we got to her car in the ramp, we all stood there for what seemed like precious hours packed into minutes. we didn’t have enough time to say goodbye, and we knew that time wouldn’t wait for us. but we made the most of that brief time, and i can say, for myself at least, that i relived every second of the past 9 months with you guys in that swift seven minutes. as Claire said, using Kerstin’s infamous words “you’ll always be right shnrrr.”(i hope i spelled that right)
after our third chorus of goodbyes, we watched Kerstin pull away, her tail lights flickering at us as she followed the arrow pointing left, conveniently marked “exit”.
what i really want to say is i’m grateful to know that i’ve met the people who will probably be my best friends for the rest of my life here, this year. i know this isn’t goodbye, so i won’t say that. rather, i leave you all with a see you later, see you soon.

lots of love, hugs and cosmos,
<3. Addy
(PS – I’m still crying.)

this time, a year ago…. [part 1]

this time a year ago….

i was finding shoes to match my prom dress.

i memorizing the prologue  from “the canterbury tales” for IB English.

i had just finished reading “the fountainhead” for the 3rd time, in preparation of my IB English Oral.

i met WTL. 

i was trading yearbooks during passing time, and writing down stories and memories in immortalized pages.

i was dreading graduation.

i was afraid to be 18.

i was crying myself to sleep every night because of 4/13/07.

i left my first secret in a public place: written on the lid of a McDonald’s cup, left in the uptown Caribou.

i wasn’t sure of who i was, or what i wanted from life, let alone college

i was a completely different person.

 

<3.